Why You Aren't Getting Booked: The 3 Keys to the Melbourne Scene
Starting out in Melbourne comedy is often a lesson in politics rather than just jokes.
This article is aimed at new people to the scene.
If you expect to simply message a room and land a spot, you’re going to be disappointed. Stage time is a currency earned through skill, and networking. Unless you’re already a touring pro, your ability to hustle off-stage is what determines how much time you get on it.
The Three Keys to Getting a Spot
- Networking:
- Does the booker know who you are?
- More importantly, are you a decent person to be around? People avoid booking comics who are shitty to be around or a nightmare in the green room.
- Skill:
- Are you an absolute killer?
- 10 years plus crusher who guarantees a win for the room every time.
- Famous: Are you Kim Kardashian? If you have massive celebrity status, the rules don't apply to you because you fill seats.
If you're starting out you're probably not Bill Burr, which means you're going to need to focus on networking to get most of your spots.
It's a bad hobby
If you only want to jump in once a month for fun, the scene will move past you. There are far more comedians than there are stage spots. A booker will always prioritize the person grinding seven days a week over someone who treats it like a casual pastime. It might feel harsh, but bookers invest in people who are invested in the craft.
Go do jujitsu or something fun instead.
The time investment
Finding gigs is a full-time job. No one is going to do the work for you. Be prepared for constant rejection, hour-long drives to empty rooms, and the occasional last-minute cancellation. If you aren't ready for the "admin" of comedy, you aren't ready for the stage.
You will spend most of your time networking at the start, don't just rely on spamming people with messages. Understand that bookers and other comics also have lives.
How to Actually Find Spots
- Join the Groups: Get into every local comedy Facebook group or community board you can find.
- Show Up: Go to gigs even when you aren't on the lineup. Support the room without the immediate intention of fighting for a spot.
- Don't Pester: Messaging bookers constantly to tell them how funny you are is the fastest way to get blacklisted.
- Peer Networking: Your fellow open-micers are your best resource. Build relationships with the people at your level.
- Be Prepared: It is fine to bomb, but it is not fine to be unprepared. It is baffling to spend a month hustling for a five-minute spot only to waste four of those minutes saying how you have nothing to work.
- Be on time and be reliable
- Be patient
- Don't intentionally walk a room by saying dumb shit to get a reaction
Bonus: Read Gary Gulman's Joke Writing tips then read them again!